


The Sweetest Morsel to the Mouth That Ever Was Cooked in Hell

by Silvarbelle



Category: Mo Dao Zu Shi, the untamed
Genre: M/M, bet you wish you'd let him speak THEN don't ya?, butthead - Freeform, hooooooooooooo BOY!, talk shit get kept awake all night by sexual demented howling, xing yang you DUMBASS, you went and done what you shouldn'ta oughtta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:15:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27481060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silvarbelle/pseuds/Silvarbelle
Summary: Lan Wangji goes on a brief mission and leaves Wei Wuxian as his proxy for minor Chief Cultivator duties.  Unfortunately, a visiting cultivator has extreme and savage opinions on Wei Wuxian's qualifications for existing let alone anything else.  He insults Wei Wuxian up one wall, down another, and twice around Cloud Recesses for good measure.  Naturally: the resident troublemaker and smart-ass isn't going to sit back and take it.
Relationships: Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn
Comments: 114
Kudos: 1455





	The Sweetest Morsel to the Mouth That Ever Was Cooked in Hell

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pakhnokh](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Pakhnokh).



> So, this came about because Pakhnokh wrote the original idea in a twitter thread, found here: https://twitter.com/pakhnokh/status/1319220795869138950 
> 
> I loved it and asked Pak if I could write my own version of it, to which they enthusiastically agreed, and so here 'tis.
> 
> Title comes from this quote: “Revenge, the sweetest morsel to the mouth that ever was cooked in hell.”  
> ― Walter Scott, The Heart of Mid-Lothian
> 
> Only beta for this was me, so that's the that of it.

“You won’t be gone long – only a few days,” said Wei Wuxian with a smile, “and I promise that I shall miss you for all of them. You have the extra talismans I made you?”

“Mn,” Lan Wangji agreed, standing still as his husband fussed with the collars of his robes; shifting them a little and smoothing them down. “I am well-supplied on that front. Wei Ying has…?”

“The extra papers and ink Lan Zhan provided, yes, as well as the snacks that Lan Zhan personally fetched and stashed away for this one,” Wei Wuxian replied, wrinkling his nose as his smile intensified. “So concerned for my diet!”

“The body is still too thin after all this time,” Lan Wangji fretted. A small frown pulled at his brow even as he settled his hands on Wei Wuxian’s waist. “You have been returned for two years and you are still too thin. I worry about Wei Ying.”

“You do,” Wei Wuxian murmured. His smile gentled to a tender expression. He reached up to press a hand to Lan Zhan’s face. “You worry _too much_ , maybe.”

Lan Wangji caught that hand; held it still so he could turn his head to press soft, adoring kisses to long and clever fingers.

“Never enough,” he declared.

Wei Wuxian laughed, charmed.

Their tender goodbyes were interrupted by an irritated huff. They glared around to find Lan Qiren standing beside Lan Xichen. Lan Wangji’s brother had a soft smile on his face. Lan Wangji’s uncle did not.

“If the two of you are _quite_ finished being ridiculous?” Lan Qiren ground out, glaring at them.

Wei Wuxian gave an affable smile and smoothed Lan Zhan’s collars again.

“Loving Lan Zhan is never ridiculous,” he stated.

He glanced at his husband; found those light-colored eyes fixed intently on him while pink dusted Lan Zhan’s cheeks. A matching pleasured blush graced his own cheeks at this visible display of Lan Wangji’s happiness.

Lan Qiren made an affronted noise.

“Uncle,” chided Lan Xichen gently, “it is good that Wangji is so well-loved.”

Lan Qiren huffed again. “Of course it is! But they are behaving as if they will be parted for months instead of ten days!”

“Even one day is too long,” said Lan Wangji. “I do not take for granted the privilege of Wei Ying alive and with me.”

Wei Wuxian made a small, hurt sound and snuggled against his husband in a tight embrace that was eagerly returned.

Lan Qiren _sighed_ and Lan Xichen used his sleeve to hide his widening smile.

“Uncle _does_ have a minor point in that we will be late for our meeting if we do not leave now,” said Lan Xichen gently once he’d lowered his arm. “Wangji, release your husband.”

Lan Zhan sighed, but did as his brother told him – though it was a slow process and he peppered Wei Wuxian’s cheek and jaw with kisses as he did so.

“Don’t forget me while you’re gone,” Wei Wuxian teased, kissing back. “Don’t forget to miss me!”

“I could _never_ forget to do that,” declared Lan Wangji.

Wei Wuxian grinned and kissed the tip of his husband’s nose. “That is my good Lan Er-gege. Bring me back a gift – besides yourself!”

“Mn – and one for A-Yuan.”

“So good to your husband and son!”

“Enough!” Lan Qiren snapped, run out of patience.

Wei Wuxian stifled a giggle. He then cleared his throat as he stepped back, away from his husband. His heart twinged with dissatisfaction even at that minor separation.

“Alright, then!” he said with a clap of his hands. “The sooner you two depart, the sooner you’ll return. You’ll both take care – yes?”

“Mn,” agreed Lan Wangji, nodding once.

Lan Xichen smiled and said, “Yes, Wei Ying – I will bring your husband back in as good or better condition.”

“I appreciate that – and would furthermore appreciate you doing the same for yourself, Xichen-ge,” Wei Wuxian replied with a smirk. “Your return is wished for as well – which I’m certain Grandmaster agrees with.”

“Yes, yes – we’re in a frenzy of agreement,” snipped the eldest Lan. “Off with the two of you; Cloud Recesses is well in hand.”

The Twin Jades bowed to Lan Qiren and Wei Wuxian. The bow was returned and, with that, the brothers departed through the gate to begin their journey.

Lan Qiren and Wei Wuxian stood watching until the brothers disappeared from view. Then, to keep himself from running after his Lan Zhan, Wei Wuxian turned to Lan Qiren with a bright smile.

“Well, now! Where do we begin?” he asked, his tone chipper.

Lan Qiren gave him a quelling look and turned to walk away. Wei Wuxian fell into step with him.

“As we will be seeing to both Sect Leader and Chief Cultivator duties while Xichen and Wangji are gone, let us go over the projected itinerary that will take place during their absence,” proposed Lan Qiren.

Wei Wuxian nodded and bit back a sarcastic comment. He was well aware that he stretched Lan Qiren’s patience thin enough. Given that Lan Xichen was going abroad with Lan Wangji to meet with the other sects in preparation for handing over Chief Cultivator title and duties, that meant Lan Qiren and Wei Wuxian would work together to handle those duties for Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji while they were gone.

Privately, Wei Wuxian was astonished that Lan Qiren himself had suggested the team-up. Wei Wuxian was certain the elder Lan would rather have hurled himself off a cliff rather than spend significant time with him.

_Nothing short of a miracle,_ he thought, glancing at the older man beside him. _I’ll make you proud of me, Lan Zhan!_

Had Lan Zhan heard that, he’d have declared that his Wei Ying always made him proud.

*~*~*~*

A few days after Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji left Cloud Recesses, Lan Qiren and Wei Wuxian had settled into a decent working rhythm.

Being as he was of GusuLan, Lan Qiren mostly handled sect business. Wei Wuxian thus took on mostly Chief Cultivator duties. Over the past couple of years, the four of them had noticed that the fickle cultivator world – which had once so soundly condemned and denounced Wei Wuxian – was now eager to converse with him, going so far as to ask some truly ridiculous questions in an attempt to appear open-minded and inclusive.

Of course, there were _some_ stubborn hold-outs, but Wei Wuxian had far more respect for those who openly disdained him than those who hid it.

….Usually.

Currently, he and Lan Qiren were seated in the Chief Cultivator’s office for a small meeting with a few dignitaries who’d made a spur-of-the-moment trip to Cloud Recesses to speak with Lan Wangji. The cultivators were clearly disappointed to find him gone, but had agreed to meet with Lan Wangji’s substitutes. The cultivators were from a minor branch of the QingheNie Sect – the XingLuo clan, whose motif was, as their name suggested, a falling star.

The three men who’d come to meet with Lan Wangji were a mixture of ages; two of them nearer to Lan Qiren while the third – and the leader of the small group – was nearer to Lan Wangji in age.

He was a handsome enough fellow, Wei Wuxian had decided, and would be handsomer still without the supercilious attitude. Xing Lingxin, courtesy Yang, was tall and athletically built. He was strong, with a square jaw and an unblemished face with aristocratic features and brown eyes only a few shades darker than Lan Wangji’s. He carried himself with decorum and grace.

The fact that anything Wei Wuxian said to him was then replied directly to Lan Qiren was what kept him low on the appreciation scale.

The XingLuo contingent had come to Cloud Recesses seeking audience with the Chief Cultivator over a growing dispute involving night hunting territory. A tributary along the Huai River shared territory between QingheNie and LanlingJin – specifically, in the territory held by the minor branch clans in that area: the XingLuo for QingheNie and the Jinchi clan for LanlingJin.

When the topic had first been broached, Wei Wuxian had suggested that the Jinchi clan be invited to send representatives for each side to have a fair chance to speak their part. He had been ignored as Xing Yang had addressed Lan Qiren, insisting that the night hunting boundaries had long been established and that the Jinchi were crossing those boundaries and a ruling must be issued. Lan Qiren had deferred the discussion back to Wei Wuxian, who had again said that Jinchi representatives should be present and, when they came, they could perhaps bring their maps and the treatise that outlined the territory; had the Xing Yang done the same?

Again: ignored.

Round-and-round they all went, with Lan Qiren becoming practically glacial in his attitude at such blatant disrespect. While he was by no means _fond_ of Wei Wuxian, he had accepted that Wei Wuxian would represent Lan Wangji’s office – and thus, Xing Yang was disrespecting Lan Wangji with this behavior.

It all came to a head when Xing Yang said, “Enough!”

Wei Wuxian, who’d kept a pleasant smile on his face and a pleasant tone in his voice, became still. The smile faded from his face and he settled an intense, unblinking stare on Xing Yang.

“It is true that we came to speak with His Excellency,” said Xing Yang. “It is also true that it is disappointing to find him absent. However: this problem _can_ be solved by His Excellency’s proxy – but not _you_.”

He settled his own cold glare on Wei Wuxian.

“Lan Qiren is known for his intelligence, fairness, and dignity,” continued Xing Yang. “ _You_ , Wei Wuxian – Yiling Laozu – are known for anything _but_ dignity or fairness. You are known for your wildness, your brazenness, and of course: for murdering thousands of people! You are a criminal, a madman, a monster – or, you were. Now: you seem to be nothing but His Excellency’s _pet_ ; a kept man that is kept for disgraceful purposes. Quite frankly: you are not _fit_ to serve as Lan Wangji’s proxy – or anything else! You are a burden and a disgrace to him and I will not disrespect the Chief Cultivator’s office by pretending otherwise. Grandmaster Lan Qiren may speak for Lan Wangji and I will hear his words. I will hear nothing from Wei Wuxian.”

They were all silent for a short time as Xing Yang’s words were assimilated. The two men he’d brought with him wore nervous, yet determined expressions; clearly uncomfortable with their leader’s words, but intent on supporting him.

Wei Wuxian gave an easy smile. “I see. Well, then: as my presence is neither necessary nor welcome, I shall cede the field to my senior. Grandmaster Lan Qiren…?”

Lan Qiren didn’t look at him, but gave a single, cursory nod.

Wei Wuxian stood gracefully, bowed to the XingLuo company, bowed deeper to Lan Qiren, and then strolled out of the Chief Cultivator’s office. The doors slid shut neatly and quietly behind him.

Xing Yang breathed in, breathed out, and then smiled charmingly at Lan Qiren. “I do apologize for my outburst, Grandmaster Lan Qiren, but I simply could not abide listening to one so unworthy for even one more moment.”

Lan Qiren stood, startling the three cultivators before him. They scrambled to their feet only moments later.

“As you have elected me as your adjudicator, you will grant me leave to go research the matter further. I will speak with you again in two days,” said Lan Qiren.

“I – but – yes, of course,” said Xing Yang. “Grandmaster Lan—“

“I bid you good day,” said Lan Qiren brusquely, and he bowed to them before striding out of the office without waiting for the return bow.

“You seem to have offended Lan Qiren with your words to Wei Wuxian,” murmured one of the men with Xing Yang.

“More that I’ve probably upset him by stealing the words he wanted to say himself, but would not allow himself the indignity of doing so,” muttered Xing Yang. “I solved the problem, Xing Liuxian, and rid us of the presence of that uppity, unworthy _whore_ that thinks himself qualified to speak to me.”

“Lan Wangji _will_ hear of this,” cautioned the other man; Xing Zexian, brother to Xing Liuxian. “His adoration for his husband is well known. Lan Wangji will not be pleased with your words.”

“That is likely true – yet, his fairness in rendering judgment is legendary,” agreed Xing Yang. “Whatever finding his uncle, also legendary in his fairness, hands down – Lan Wangji will abide by despite his personal feelings.”

“He will not have to abide by them if he kills you for slandering his husband,” groused Xing Liuxian.

“What slander? I have made no false statement about Wei Wuxian, nor have I damaged his already terrible reputation!” laughed Xing Yang. “Come; we’ll go to Caiyi Town tonight and have a few drinks, browse the various vendor wares, and then return to enjoy the Cloud Recesses. We will patiently await Lan Qiren’s word when we meet again in two days.”

“Yes, Xing Yang,” replied the brothers, bowing to him, and then followed him out of the Chief Cultivator’s office.

*~*~*

Wei Wuxian lay back on the roof of the small building that contained the Chief Cultivator’s office, stacking his arms behind his head.

For once: he was grateful that he was still so damned skinny. While he knew his body’s thinness worried Lan Zhan – that thinness had come in handy for sneaking up onto the roof so he could hear whatever else might have been said. It had worked, as none of them had noticed a thing and he had, indeed, heard plenty.

Once he was certain the XingLuo trio were far enough away, Wei Wuxian came down from the roof. He dropped down to the ground, grunting faintly at the impact that rattled up through his feet. He stretched, shook himself out, and then walked off into Cloud Recesses.

_How am I going to destroy that petty little man?_

It was a question that needed a decent amount of contemplation. He was pissed off at the insult to himself; being likened to a cheap concubine that had no value except for whatever hole Lan Wangji cared to use was disgusting and infuriating. Wei Wuxian was no Wang Lingjiao! He was no slattern, no mistress! He was a _beloved_ husband!

He was _Lan Wangji’s_ beloved husband!

That his Lan Zhan adored him was without question, without doubt – at least it was so for Wei Wuxian.

Even now, thinking of Lan Zhan’s love for him calmed the storm of fury a little bit; mollified him enough that a sweet smile came forth for a few moments before his anger returned.

Bad enough to be likened to a cheap concubine – but to declare him a _burden_ to Lan Zhan…?

Oh, that would not _stand_.

_I am **not** a burden to Lan Zhan!_ he fumed, his stride becoming harsher; less smooth and more powerful, sending him across the grounds of Cloud Recesses in a burst of energy. _I have done everything I could to prevent becoming a burden to him! A disgrace… well, I feel I might agree **a little bit** with that assessment. I am what I am, who I am, and Lan Zhan is… perfect. An upstanding gentleman, a sarcastic asshole, and so beautiful he makes me cry. What a man! No one and nothing is good enough for him. But I am not a **burden!**_

All of which was well and good, but how to revenge himself and Lan Zhan against Xing Yang?

As he toured the Cloud Recesses to burn off his furious energy, Wei Wuxian thought back to the hateful words cast at him by the cruel man.

_”…I will hear nothing from Wei Wuxian.”_

Wei Wuxian abruptly came to a halt.

Xing Yang had likened him to a cheap concubine at best – a slattern at worst; meant to be used and tossed aside rather than loved well and often as only Lan Wangji could manage.

_Loved well, loved often, loved frequently every night,_ Wei Wuxian thought to himself. _My Lan Zhan brings out the best in me with his performance – it’s only right to let him know how amazed I am by him. It is only because of the silencing talismans that we no longer let everyone else know how amazing he is._

A wicked smile spread slowly over his face.

_But silencing talismans may be removed – and the XingLuo contingent are conveniently settled in the guest quarters not too far from the Jingshi. And my voice **carries**._

Feeling much better as a revenge plot settled into place, Wei Wuxian’s stride slowed again as he went off in search of his favorite disciples to pass time with.

*~*~*~*

_“Ah! Ah! Oh! Lan Zhan! **Lan Zhan!** Oh, Lan Er-gege, **yes!** Yes, more, ye—ohhhhh, Lan Zhan! Please! Oh, heavens, don’t stop! Don’t stop, Lan Zhan, Lan Er-gege, husband! More! I need – oh, fuck, yes, **just like that!** Just like that, my love, my life, my Lan Zhan! Ah! Oh!”_

Xing Yang’s eyes snapped open.

He’d barely been asleep for an hour when, suddenly, raucous howls filled the air. It took him a few moments to parse the words, but when he did, he felt his face heat with a scalding hot blush.

“What…?”

Xing Liuxian sat up, mumbling and bewildered.

_“Lan Zhan! Lan Zhan, oh, yes! Fuck me, love of my life! Fuck me harder! Love your Wei Ying as only you can! Ohhhhhhhh, **gods!** Lan Zhan, more, **please!** ”_

Xing Liuxian’s jaw dropped, incredulous, and he turned a horrified expression towards Xing Yang even as Xing Zexian fumbled awake.

_“Lan Zhan! Oh, heavens, Lan Zhan, Hanguang-Jun, Lan Er-gongzi! You magnificent man! My husband! My one and only ohhhhhh fuck yesyesyes **harder—** ”_

Xing Zexian _squeaked_ and clapped his hands over his mouth, his eyes wide.

_“My love! My life! My Lan Zhan! You must – oh, yes, yes! Oh! You **naughty minx!** Lan **Zhan!** You’re not putting your tongue **there???** Oh, I’m corrected, you **are** , you – ohhhhhh, oh gods, oh **fuck—!** ”_

Xing Yang swallowed back his horror and nausea at the mental image his mind supplied.

The sounds and words continued on, on, and then—

_“Yes, love, Lan Zhan! Come up here! Come up here and fuck my mouth, you—“_

The words were abruptly gone, but a _muffled_ loud cry sounded.

The XingLuo trio shuddered in revulsion.

After a while, the noises and cries stopped and the three of them breathed a sigh of relief. Not wanting to look at each other, not wanting to somehow communicate shared thoughts of just _what_ they thought of Wei Wuxian’s deviant sexual howling, all three men snuggled back under their covers and closed their eyes, settling themselves towards sleep.

All was quiet and they relaxed.

They—

_“Oh, mercy! Have mercy on your husband – again? Alrea— **Lan Zhan!** Oh, gods, yes, never mind mercy! Never mind it! Fuck, yes, my Lan Zhan! Yes! Oh, heavens, you fuck your Wei Ying **so good!** ”_

Xing Yang’s groan was loud enough to cover the beleaguered whimpers from his companions.

*~*~*~*

The next morning was a rough one for several people.

Wei Wuxian was by no means an early riser. Having spent most of the night awake, he wasn’t at all pleased to be roused by persistent knocking at the door of the Jingshi. He considered ignoring the knock for a few moments, but it became clear that whoever was on the other side had no intention of leaving without being answered.

_It might be an emergency,_ he thought fuzzily, sitting up and yawning.

_But if that was true, whoever’s out there wouldn’t simply wait and keep knocking without a word,_ he mused further.

Still, Wei Wuxian hauled himself out of bed and threw a robe on over his nightshirt and trousers. Yawning again, he stumbled over to the door and slid it open.

Lan Qiren stood wild-eyed on the other side of the door in a state of high dudgeon. He glared at Wei Wuxian and then leaned to the side to peer past the younger man.

“When did he return home?” Lan Qiren demanded to know.

Wei Wuxian blinked at him, stupefied.

“Wangji!” snapped Lan Qiren, and Wei Wuxian jerked back a step. “When did Wangji return home? _Why_ is he here?”

“He… Grandmaster, Lan Zhan is not here,” Wei Wuxian said. He turned his face away, covering another yawn with the back of his hand.

“Don’t lie to me!” thundered Lan Qiren. “Lying is forbidden!”

Wei Wuxian sighed and stepped back, gesturing for the elder Lan to enter. “Grandmaster, Lan Zhan _is not here_.”

Lan Qiren huffed and stepped inside – but it soon became evident that Lan Wangji really wasn’t there.

“Did he wake and leave before five, then?” Lan Qiren demanded, turning to glare at the younger man.

Wei Wuxian stood with his arms crossed over his belly, his weight resting on one hip, watching Lan Qiren with amusement. He smiled and shook his head.

“He was never here,” he declared.

Lan Qiren’s face darkened with ire. “ _Explain_.”

Wei Wuxian raised an eyebrow as he gazed coolly at the older man. Still, he capitulated. Lan Qiren did deserve an explanation.

“Xing Yang not only declared me a burden and a disgrace – he implied that I am merely a cheap concubine to serve Lan Zhan’s… needs,” said Wei Wuxian. “Furthermore: he decided that he would hear nothing from me. I am merely doing my best to prove him wrong on all counts.”

“And you somehow think that the display you put on last night for all of Cloud Recesses to hear is _not_ utterly disgraceful?” barked Lan Qiren.

“ _All_ of Cloud Recesses? Doubtful,” Wei Wuxian murmured, smirking. “At best, the patrol heard me and thus alerted you and you came to see what the fuss was about – and promptly turned right around and left when you understood what the noises implied. The patrol heard me, you heard me, and _Xing Yang_ heard me.”

Lan Qiren glared at Wei Wuxian for several long moments. Finally: “I cannot stop you, can I? You will continue to torment Xing Yang.”

“For as long as he resides in Cloud Recesses,” agreed Wei Wuxian. “He will hear me – whether he wants to or not.”

Lan Qiren’s glare intensified – and then, he looked away with a rough sigh.

“If he’d only known what hell he’d unleash, he’d have insisted you talk all the day long,” Lan Qiren grumbled.

“As you say, Grandmaster.”

Lan Qiren huffed and then pointed a stern finger at Wei Wuxian. “I _will_ be putting up silencing wards within a certain radius and adjusting the patrol. _The disciples_ , at least, don’t deserve this!”

“Very true, Grandmaster, and I thank you for your graciousness in allowing me my revenge,” Wei Wuxian said, and bowed to him.

“Rotten child!” hissed Lan Qiren. “I’m going to qi deviate someday and it will be entirely your fault!”

“As you say, Grandmaster,” Wei Wuxian repeated with a smirk.

Lan Qiren _growled_ and then quit the Jingshi in a furious swirl of robes, striding away—

“Why?”

Lan Qiren lurched gracefully to a halt just on the threshold at the single word query. Coldly, he looked back over his shoulder at the younger man.

“Why?” asked Wei Wuxian again, serious now. “Why allow me this much?”

Lan Qiren had turned partially back toward him as he spoke. The older man’s jaw tightened as he looked away.

Finally, he said, “A disgrace you most certainly are – but not to Wangji. And neither are you a burden to him. Since your return, you have been at his side: loving him, aiding him, and doing your best to comfort him. I have never seen A-Zhan as happy as he is now with his beloved _husband_ in his life and in his heart.”

Once the small speech was given, Lan Qiren cut a furious gaze towards Wei Wuxian, silently daring him to make light of it.

His heart beating wildly with emotion, Wei Wuxian nevertheless dipped into a graceful and solemn bow, saluting the older cultivator perfectly.

Lan Qiren made an irritable noise and finally departed the Jingshi.

Wei Wuxian laughed quietly and went to close the doors, his heart tender with gratitude towards a man who was more often than not his adversary. Relaxed now, Wei Wuxian yawned, stretched, and shucked the robe before settling himself back in bed under the covers.

He was so warm, so cozy—

“Senior Wei! Senior Wei, good morning!” came Lan Sizhui’s call in conjunction with a new set of knocks at the door. “Senior Wei, Hanguang-Jun asked that I bring you breakfast – remember? Senior Wei?”

“You know how deeply he sleeps,” Lan Jingyi muttered. “Just open the door and go drag him out of bed!”

“We did that the first morning after Hanguang-Jun left and we got blasted out by a talisman!” Lan Sizhui shot back. “Never again!”

Wei Wuxian buried his face in the quilt to muffle his giggles.

When the knocking and the calling of his name started up again, he sighed and rolled onto his back.

“I’m awake!” he yelled. “I’m up, I’m up! I swear: I’m up!”

The door slid aside at that and two young, fresh faces peeked cautiously in. Upon seeing Wei Wuxian sitting up in the bed to greet them, Lan Sizhui entered with a smile and a tray of food in his hands; Lan Jingyi hot on his heels.

“Good morning, Senior Wei,” greeted Lan Sizhui. “We’ve brought breakfast and thought to join you, if we may?”

Wei Wuxian heaved a sigh. “A-Yuan, my little radish – must you be so _formal_ at this ungodly hour of the morning?”

Lan Sizhui rolled his eyes but smiled as he went to set the tray down on the low dining table.

“I would never dare be disrespectful to such an august personage as you, Xian-gege,” he teased.

“Ahhhh-ha-ha-ha,” muttered Wei Wuxian, dragging himself out of bed. He accepted the robe Lan Jingyi scooped up from the floor and handed to him. “I see how it is: my little radish is a little _smart-ass_.”

“Better than being a dumb bunny,” Lan Sizhui shot back with a grin, and then giggled softly as Wei Wuxian went to gather him up in a hug, smooching kisses to his hair.

Lan Jingyi watched their familiar, loving antics with a mixture of amusement, fondness, and longing – until Wei Wuxian, seeing that yearning on his face, turned and made a beeline for him with arms open wide.

“Ack! Senior Wei: _no!_ ”

“Senior Wei: _yes!_ ”

As Wei Wuxian chased Lan Jingyi around the Jingshi, cajoling the youth for hugs and kisses, Lan Sizhui set out their breakfast bowls with a grin so wide his face hurt.

*~*~*

A couple of hours later, Wei Wuxian meandered his way up towards the teaching rooms for the very much junior disciples; the students in their single-digit years. 

He’d already checked with Lan Qiren about any Chief Cultivator work to attend to – other than the XingLuo contingent – and had been brushed off with a curt “No!” before being invited to check on the disciples and see if there was anything of a _helpful_ nature he could lend himself to.

On his way to the very much junior disciples, Wei Wuxian ran across Xing Yang; for once, alone without this attendant shadows.

“Good morning!” he said brightly to the horrible man. “It is a _lovely_ morning, Clan Leader Xing, is it not?”

Xing Yang clearly did not agree with him if the bleary and exhausted glare he gave Wei Wuxian was any indication. The man looked rough around the edges; as though he were barely holding onto a decorous appearance by sheer dint of will. He was pale with lack of sleep and there were noticeable dark circles under his eyes.

Wei Wuxian’s smile grew sunnier in response.

“Ah!” he said, and bowed politely. “This one apologizes – I forgot that you wish not to hear anything from me. I’ll be on my way, then, and leave you to your silence. Though, I feel I must advise you to get a nap in at some point. You look as if you didn’t get enough sleep last night!”

Xing Yang’s glare intensified and darkened with hatred. “You—!”

“Senior Wei!”

Lan Jingyi appeared at the end of a nearby walkway, which he left to approach them. He bowed politely towards the two men when he’d come to a halt.

“Senior Wei, Lan Sizhui is waiting with a group of junior disciples for you,” said Lan Jingyi. “The students are very eager to meet with you. They are well aware that you are a gifted and intelligent cultivator; quite clever and creative, and they look forward to any help you might be willing to give them.”

“Of course I’ll help them,” Wei Wuxian murmured. “Is that not what we seniors are meant to do but guide the younger generations that come after us?”

“As you say, Senior Wei,” Lan Jingyi replied with another bow. “On behalf of the disciples of GusuLan, I thank you for your time and attention. I know you are quite busy with your own work as well as His Excellency’s.”

“Time is made for the important things,” Wei Wuxian said magnanimously. He bowed, then, to Xing Yang. “If you’ll excuse me, Clan Leader Xing, duty calls. I only hope I can keep up with those juniors! They’re so full of energy and I find myself quite exhausted this morning. How strange, don’t you think? Ah, forgive me – more things from me when you never wanted to hear me. I bid you good day, Xing Yang.”

With that, he turned and walked serenely away. Lan Jingyi fell into step with him a moment later.

The two were silent until Wei Wuxian was certain they were well out of earshot and then he turned his head to _look_ at Lan Jingyi.

Lan Jingyi shot a smirk back at him. “What? He’s not minced his words around here when it comes to his opinion of you. He’s declared you useless and worthless and the tales of your wit and cunning to be exaggerated at best. I would be remiss in my duty as a Lan disciple if I did not seek to put an end to his blatant lies. Lying is forbidden, after all.”

Wei Wuxian snorted a laugh and clapped Lan Jingyi on the shoulder. “Jingyi, my lad – you are a _treasure_. Never let anyone tell you otherwise!”

Lan Jingyi’s grin was a thing of beauty.

*~*~*~*

Three days later, at an inn near YunmengJiang, the Twin Jades of Lan settled in for the evening.

While they waited for a room to be prepared for them, the brothers settled in the common room and ordered food and tea.

The food arrived and Lan Xichen couldn’t help a smile at the vivid red color and scent of spice coming from the bowl in front of his brother. Lan Wangji noticed the look and the smile; tilted his head slightly and made a soft, querying noise.

Lan Xichen’s smile widened. “I was taking note of the influence of Wei Wuxian in your life – even to this small detail. I am also certain that he would declare there isn’t _enough_ chili oil and try to drown your food with more of it.”

A small smile curved Lan Wangji’s lips and he lowered his gaze to the food. “Mn.”

“We’ll be home before you know it, Wangji,” Lan Xichen said, his tone comforting. “You’ll be back in his arms soon.”

Lan Wangji sighed and nodded. He was quite homesick for his husband and had been from the moment they’d departed. He had done his duty; kept his intense longing from his face and voice during the meetings he’d been in with QingheNie and LanlingJin. It had been supremely difficult when meeting with Jin Rulan. In the last couple of years, the young sect leader had relented his attitude against his resurrected uncle; had become more accepting of and thus closer with Wei Ying which had brought Lan Wangji’s husband no end of joy. For that alone: Lan Wangji had thawed his own attitude towards a youth that had been jaded by a steady inflow of Jiang Wanyin’s resentment, jealousy, and hatred. 

Thus, when they’d been at LanlingJin, Jin Rulan had spoken with Lan Wangji at length about Wei Wuxian and had, unwittingly, increased Lan Wangji’s frustration and pain at being separated from his beloved husband.

Lan Xichen, ever observant and attuned to his brother, had seen right through Lan Wangji’s façade of unfazed decorum.

Now, the brothers set about eating and went silent, observing their long-ingrained training to not speak while eating. Even that, however, made Lan Wangji think of his Wei Ying; of how they ate their meals together in the Jingshi most of the time which thus allowed Wei Ying to chatter on as much as he liked. The sound of his voice was a pleasure and a comfort to Lan Wangji and he indulged himself with it as much as he could.

_Soon,_ he thought. _I need only get through this meeting with Jiang Wanyin and then I may go home to my love._

The brothers were nearly finished with their meal when it was interrupted.

As they’d eaten, a Caiyi Town merchant who was quite familiar with Lan Wangji had arrived, spotted him, and chocked on the sip of liquor he’d just taken. After a coughing fit cleared his throat, he hurried over to the brothers’ table and bowed hastily to both of them.

“Heaven’s Blessings upon you both!” he greeted, but his jovial smile was strained. “Your Excellency, Hanguang-Jun! What a surprise to find you here!”

Lan Wangji inclined his head, but Lan Xichen frowned slightly. 

“Merchant Ren Cheng,” he said, and bowed his head in greeting when the man turned and bowed to him again, “forgive me, but you seem _distressed_ to find His Excellency here.”

“I – no! Certainly not! Only surprised!” laughed the man nervously. “I had thought that Hanguang-Jun was at home with his husband!”

The brothers exchanged glances and then turned intensely focused gazes on Ren Cheng.

“Why do you say that, Merchant Ren Cheng?” asked Lan Xichen.

Ren Cheng flicked his gaze between the brothers. He licked his lips as he considered his response.

Finally, he knelt down by their table and leaned forward. In a whisper, he said, “I made a delivery last night to Cloud Recesses – to your kitchens.”

“As you do,” Lan Xichen murmured, but cold dread was beginning to pool in his gut.

Ren Cheng nodded. “It was a late delivery, unfortunately. I was invited to stay as a guest rather than risk a night journey down the mountain. Very kind!”

“You are most welcome, Merchant Ren Cheng,” said Lan Xichen, keeping impatience from his voice. “What has this to do with your surprise?”

Ren Cheng’s face darkened with a blush and he glanced over at Lan Wangji and then away.

“It’s only… I heard… Master Wei,” he said, and licked his lips again. His shoulders hunched. “My quarters were near enough to your home, apparently, Hanguang-Jun, and I… I heard Master Wei’s, ah… _fervently_ vocal appreciation of… _you_.”

Lan Xichen’s breath caught even as a blush heated his own cheeks. All of Cloud Recesses was aware, by now, of Wei Wuxian’s _appreciation_ of his husband’s… talents. Silencing talismans had at long last been applied to the Jingshi after Lan Xichen had had a word or two about discretion with his (appallingly smug) brother.

“So…” continued Ren Cheng nervously, “so you can see why I thought you were home with him as I heard—“

Ren Cheng let out a screech and scrambled aside, upsetting and scattering dishes as Lan Wangji surged to his feet with a furious expression.

With Bichen in hand, Lan Wangji stormed out of the inn, his white robes flying out behind him. The other patrons in the common room watched him go, wide-eyed and nervous at this unusual display of emotion, and then huddled together to begin talking about said display.

“Merchant Ren Cheng,” said Lan Xichen with forced calm, “please come upstairs and speak privately with me. I’m certain there is a… that there is an explanation for what has occurred, but I have questions.”

So saying, he put a few nuggets of silver on the table as payment for the ruined crockery that an inn keeper was, even now, waiting to clean up. He stood, graceful and elegant, and with a smile and a gesture – he made it clear to Ren Cheng that he wasn’t taking ‘no’ for an answer.

His guts heavy with dread and misery, Ren Cheng got to his feet and followed Lan Xichen upstairs.

*~*~*

Bichen sped through the night sky, so swiftly that its passenger resembled a shooting star.

Lan Wangji was insensate to the cold cut of the air against his face as he flew. He was intent on getting home to Cloud Recesses as fast as possible – on getting home to _Wei Ying_ —

His mouth flood with hot, sour fluid even as his stance on Bichen wavered. Realizing his predicament, Lan Wangji swiftly landed beside a stream. He dropped to his knees and hunched over, braced on his hands, breathing through the nausea caused by the turmoil churning his stomach.

It _couldn’t_ be true! It just – it – surely Ren Cheng was mistaken! Surely he’d misinterpreted what he’d heard! Surely Wei Ying wouldn’t…

_Wei Ying **wouldn’t** ,_ Lan Wangji thought.

He nearly collapsed with the strength of his relief as that truth filled his heart and mind.

Wei Ying loved him. Wei Ying was faithful to him.

Lan Wangji _did not_ doubt his husband.

Cool calm swept through him, dispersing the nausea and upset.

_Wei Ying **wouldn’t** ,_ he thought again, and relaxed utterly. He closed his eyes as he knelt upright and sat back on his heels, placing his hands on his thighs. He breathed steadily despite the rapid thud of his heartbeat in his chest. _Wei Ying is up to **something** – that much is certain. But Wei Ying would **never** betray me._

Lan Wangji did not doubt Wei Ying.

He felt foolish at his initial panic that had sent him bolting from the inn, abandoning his brother and their mission. He knew why he’d reacted so, but it had nothing to do with faithlessness in Wei Ying. After so many years of trying to earn Wei Ying’s love, he had accepted that Wei Ying never would be his. It hurt, of course, and then it was _fine_ because first Wei Ying died and then Wei Ying _came back_ and that in itself was _enough_. And then, miracle of miracles, he was gifted with Wei Ying’s love.

Lan Wangji feared nothing like he feared _losing_ that love; either to death, again, or simply being found not good enough for Wei Ying.

_**If** that ever happens, Wei Ying would **tell me** – not let me find out from a gossiping merchant,_ Lan Wangji thought. _Wei Ying would be neither so dishonorable nor cruel to me. As he has said nothing to me of being dissatisfied, I may safely assume he still loves me and is mine._

Feeling much less like he was dying on his feet, Lan Wangji rose to said feet and re-mounted Bichen to continue his flight home.

He had a husband to see to.

*~*~*

When Lan Wangji arrived at Cloud Recesses, he was no longer calm.

He was, in fact, _furious_.

Whatever Wei Ying was up to – it involved allowing anyone within earshot to hear his sex noises.

Those noises belonged to Lan Wangji.

Having walked up the mountain stairs and made it through the gate, Lan Wangji nodded to the various disciples he crossed paths with. There were a few who made moves to come speak with him, but his determined stride and air of refusal kept them from following through.

Soon, Lan Wangji was alone as he made his way to the Jingshi.

Wei Wuxian was not there.

Seething, Lan Wangji turned and walked away, intent on prowling Cloud Recesses in search of his wayward husband. However, before long, he came across the Sect Leader’s office where official sect business was done. He could see a familiar silhouette and wavered, hesitating.

_I **should** speak with Uncle first,_ he reluctantly admitted to himself, and took himself to the office.

Lan Qiren looked up at his entrance. The surprised expression on his face faded into stoic resignation within moments.

“How did you find out?” Lan Qiren asked in lieu of a greeting.

Lan Wangji gave a perfunctory bow and then approached the low desk. He knelt down opposite his elder. “Uncle… tell me what’s going on.”

Lan Qiren sighed. He poured himself a cup of tea and sat back. He regarded his nephew for several moments, sighed again, and began speaking.

“Wei Wuxian’s single most powerful _talent_ , such as it is, is being _annoying_ ,” he grumbled. “He is spectacularly skilled at being annoying; being a nuisance. He is _well aware_ of it. He has decided to put this talent to use to exact revenge against a visiting cultivator.”

Lan Wangji frowned.

Lan Qiren sighed again, sipped his tea, and set about explaining what had happened – and Wei Wuxian’s subsequent revenge plot.

Lan Wangji closed his eyes. He was torn between wanting to find Xing Yang and express his _displeasure_ with the cultivator and outright _laughing_ at the distress Wei Ying had already subjected the man to.

Until he remembered _how_ Wei Ying had chosen to distress the odious man. The urge to laugh died immediately as his anger returned.

When he had himself under control, Lan Wangji opened his eyes and looked at his uncle as he asked, “Do I need to speak personally with Xing Yang?”

Lan Qiren huffed. “If it is about Chief Cultivator business – no; that is well in hand and, in itself, a form of revenge. Wei Wuxian has been advising me on the issue that brought XingLuo to us. Xing Yang has been accepting the suggestions made and so has unknowingly taken advice from the one he said he would never take such from.”

Lan Wangji couldn’t help the cold smirk that curled his lips.

“If you wish to speak with Xing Yang for _personal_ reasons,” continued Lan Qiren, “I leave that to you to decide, but will remind you that you do not currently have grounds to make that discussion physical.”

“Of course, Uncle,” murmured Lan Wangji.

Lan Qiren looked at the younger Lan for several moments and then sighed yet again. “Wei Wuxian is having dinner with Sizhui, Jingyi, and the other juniors you’ve set on watch for him. I suggest you leave him to it and meet with him later.”

Lan Wangji nodded once.

Then, he fixed his uncle with a _look_ and asked, “Why are you helping him?”

Lan Qiren sighed and looked away.

“It would have been easy,” he murmured. “It would have been… so easy to say words that were not a lie but not the precise truth, either, and let them divide you from Wei Wuxian. A dishonorable path for many reasons, but – as I told Wei Wuxian himself – I have seen you happy since his return, A-Zhan.”

He met his nephew’s gaze without flinching.

“Since his return – since he chose to bind himself to you and I witnessed him give himself heart and soul to you – I have seen you _happy_ in a way I never have before. You are _content_ to the very core of you, A-Zhan. You are content, you are happy, and you are righteous. Two of those things are due to Wei Wuxian and the third, natural to you, is yet still bolstered by his presence in your life. My dissatisfaction with Wei Wuxian is my own, but I am indebted to him for bringing peace to your heart – if not your life.”

Lan Wangji swallowed hard against the emotional lump in his throat. He bowed to his uncle and held it for several seconds before straightening up.

“I suggest you get yourself settled wherever you may,” Lan Qiren announced. “Dinner will be ending soon and Wei Wuxian _will_ return to the Jingshi.” 

Lan Wangji nodded and shifted to get up. He paused and asked, “How is it that Xing Yang has tolerated this nonsense if he would not even let Wei Ying speak in an _official_ capacity?”

Lan Qiren smirked. “He _did_ lodge a formal complaint, but I refused to hear it based on my nephew’s dignity – of which Xing Yang, himself, seemed so very concerned. He then thought to move to the inn in Caiyi Town, but I made it clear to him that if he did not answer my summons on judgement – whenever it came – within a timely manner, he and his case would be dismissed outright, so being such a ways away from Cloud Recesses is not a good idea.”

Lan Wangji _smirked_. “You are my _favorite_ uncle.”

“Of course I am. I’m a delight and a joy to have around – ask anyone.”

*~*~*

As the sun set, Wei Wuxian did return to the Jingshi.

He was escorted home by Lan Sizhui, Lan Jingyi, and a few other junior disciples. He stayed outside for a few moments, chatting and laughing, and then he let himself into his home. He waved off his son and the other disciples and closed the doors. He sighed, rested his head against the doors for a few moments, and then perked up as he made his way to the hidden cubby hole.

Lan Wangji watched all of this through a small slit in the privacy screen that hid the bathing area. He ached all over with the need to go to his husband; to go to Wei Ying and gather him close, pepper his face with kisses, and kiss yet more of him as he began to peel Wei Ying out of his clothing.

_That must wait,_ he thought. _I must see this performance for myself. I must know what happens._

He watched patiently while Wei Wuxian hauled a jar of Emperor’s Smile out of the hidey hole where such things were stashed. Wei Wuxian then gathered up a novel – a new one he’d been meaning to read for a while – and got comfortable on a plump pillow to drink and read. He laughed occasionally as he read; made comments critiquing the story here and there, or the actions of the characters within, and proceeded to get drunk.

Lan Wangji was as concerned as he was curious. Wei Ying generally did not let himself get inebriated; too leery about being incapacitated in case someone chose to attack him.

Two jars of Emperor’s Smile were consumed, the novel tossed aside, and nine o’clock arrived. Lan Wangji knew this as he felt the automatic slide towards sleep begin, but he fought off his instinctive pattern. He had to find out what happened.

A _shichen_ passed while Lan Wangji waited.

Finally, loose limbed and loopy, Wei Wuxian got up and collected a large jar of water before he went to the bed. He set the water jar down beside the bed, and then stripped off his robes until he was down to his _zhongyi_ and trousers. Toeing off his boots and kicking them aside, he then flopped down onto the bed in a graceless pile, Chenqing held in one hand. Lan Wangji had to admire the muscle memory in Wei Ying’s hand and fingers as he twirled the flute in a neat swirl despite being drunk.

Wei Wuxian hummed for a few moments in a sliding scale, cleared his throat, and smiled.

His mouth opened—

_“Lan Zhan! Oh! Lan Zhan, **yes!** Gods, yes, more! **More!** Harder, **deeper** , oh fucking fuck **yes** , my love, fuck me, just like that!”_

Quite suddenly: Lan Wangji was no longer sleepy.

Heat sizzled along his nerves and he gave a soft grunt that went unheard as he hunched over, his groin cramping slightly with the speed in which his cock hardened. He _loved_ Wei Ying’s passionate noises; loved the sheer volume of words and sound that he wrung from his love every day. This was his barometer; this was how he knew Wei Ying was truly enjoying himself. Whenever there was silence, it meant Wei Ying was not happy.

Hearing those pleasured cries and filthy words now... Lan Wangji wanted desperately to act on the arousal they provoked.

The howling and yowling, moaning and groaning, continued on for a long while – well past even Lan Wangji’s acknowledged endurance levels. He knew very well that by now he’d have finished most beautifully with his Wei Ying if this were actually taking place.

_But the point of it is not that we are enjoying each other, but to torment Xing Yang with the sound of it,_ Lan Wangji reminded himself.

Just then, Wei Wuxian gave a particularly lovely drawn out, gasping cry of pleasure and finally subsided. Lan Wangji steadied his breathing and ignored his erection as he watched his husband sit up to drink some water.

Once that was done, Wei Wuxian loosened his _zhongyi_ and lifted his hair to fan at the back of his neck; clearly overheated. After a while, he let his hair drop again and drank some more water, some of which escaped the seal of his lips and trickled down his jaw and neck.

Lan Wangji swallowed against the craving to follow those water trails with his tongue.

Wei Wuxian finished the water and set the jar down again, sighing his satisfaction as he wiped his mouth on one of the _zhongyi’s_ narrow sleeves. He then lay back down and stared up at the ceiling while he held Chenqing across his belly, his hands folded over the flute. His face went through a series of contortions as he had an internal debate with himself before he grinned and began giggling quietly.

Lan Wangji felt a corner of his mouth pull upwards in response. He adored his lover’s laughter. Whether soft and sweet like this or loud and unfettered – he loved to hear Wei Ying laugh.

_He is most likely laughing as he’s figured out what to say next to torment Xing Yang,_ Lan Wangji thought, and _almost_ felt a tiny spurt of sympathy for the other man.

Except that Xing Yang had said some truly loathsome things about Wei Ying – thus, he deserved every bit of torment that could be dealt to him.

Lan Wangji was still debating with himself about whether or not to invite Xing Yang to duel him when Wei Wuxian started up his sexual concerto again, preceded by more humming before the onslaught began.

_“Oh, Lan Zhan! Oh, Lan **Zhan!** Lan Er-gege, Zhan-xiong, precious one! My heart, my life! Oh! Heavens, I love your mouth! I love when you – ohhhhhhh, **yes** , my beautiful one! Hnnnggghhhh! Yes! Yes! There! Put your tongue – oh, gods! Oh, **Heavens** , I can’t! I can’t! Oh, mercy, husband! Mercy on your Wei Ying! I’m – **oh** , Lan Zhan, **yes** , fill me up! Fill me! Fuck me! Take your Wei Ying! Destroy me!”_

Lan Wangji rose up on his knees, instinctively rising to meet his husband’s demand. His cock hard and pulsing with lust, he nevertheless forced himself to sit back and watch the show.

Wei Wuxian lay on the bed, one leg hung over the side and the other drawn up in a comfortable sprawl. He tapped Chenqing against his knee while he continued to bellow filthy words and lustful noises.

It was an amusing dichotomy.

A while later, the performance ended and Wei Wuxian drank some more water; emptied the jar and set it aside with a sigh. He undid his _zhongyi_ entirely and let it fall open, exposing his chest and belly to the evening air as he lay back down, clearly less intoxicated than when he’d begun.

Still hidden behind the screen, Lan Wangji looked his fill. The Mo Xuanyu body wasn’t terrible; in fact, it was of a similar build to Wei Wuxian’s original body: tall, lithe, and graceful. Lan Wangji frowned, though, as he took in the signs of malnourishment. Despite two years of constant, healthy meals – the body still looked starved.

If he weren’t so well-trained in respecting and purifying the spirits of the dead, Lan Wangji would have long since cursed the souls of the Mo family to make their afterlives a living hell.

He tensed a moment later when familiar humming started up.

He dug his nails into his thighs, waited—

_“Again?! Oh, how forward of you! How bold! Shameless! **Shameless** Lan Zhan! Ha ha ha ha ha haaaaa! Oh, yes, yes! On my hands and knees?! You – Ohhhhh, gods! Yes! In me! **In me!** Fuck, yes, my Lan Zhan, I **love** your cock! I love how you use it – **just like that just like that yes please my glorious lover** —“_

That easily: Lan Wangji broke.

Rising to his feet, he stepped around the screen and pulled off the two top layers of his robes as he approached the bed.

*~*~*

_“Oh, yes! **Yes!** Yes, Lan Zhan, Lan Er-gege—“_

“Wei Ying.”

Wei Wuxian’s words cut off on a wild squeak. His eyes, which had been closed, flared wide open and he stared upwards as if he were seeing a ghost.

_But I know what to do about those,_ he thought stupidly.

“ _Er-gege?_ ” burst from his mouth. “I – you – you…? Are _here?_ Or am I really _that_ drunk?”

An instant later, Lan Wangji dropped down over him.

Wei Wuxian stiffened with a gasp – and then, melted, as familiar heat and strength covered him. Lan Zhan knelt over him, hands and knees to either side of him. Thick, silky black hair fell down around them both, curtaining them in shadow and the scent of sandalwood. Lan Zhan’s brilliant gold gaze stared down at him, hot and intense.

“Lan Zhan,” he whispered, and then squeaked _again_ , jolting, as a large hand took hold of his ass and _squeezed_.

“Is your question answered?” Lan Wangji retorted, his voice low and growly.

Wei Wuxian shivered happily, a smile beginning to stretch his lips.

“It’s really strange how you’re so attracted to that specific part of me,” he commented. “There’s hardly anything there, now. Had it been my original body, then I could understand. But you, my Lan Zhan… you _more_ than make up for my lack.”

So saying, he let Chenqing fall to the floor while both of his hands stole down Lan Wangji’s body to grab hold of his husband’s luscious backside.

Lan Wangji’s gaze intensified. He flexed over Wei Wuxian, his body moving in a lithe ripple and slide that made Wei Wuxian’s mouth go dry.

“What are you doing here?” he whispered. “Not that I’m not _happy_ , Lan Zhan, but why…?”

“Didn’t you _want_ me here?” challenged Lan Wangji. “It certainly _sounded_ like you did.”

“I always want you here,” Wei Wuxian said; plain, simple, truthful.

He blinked, and then winced a smile up at his husband. He moved his hands to Lan Wangji’s hips and petted.

“I have a… perfectly good explanation for this, Lan Er-gege,” he announced.

Lan Wangji cocked an eyebrow at him. “Go on.”

Wei Wuxian blew out a breath, drew in another, and said, “I’m driving a man mad with lack of sleep from the sound of my voice.”

“…Continue.”

Wei Wuxian did so: gave forth every word Xing Yang had said to him and watched fury kindle in his husband’s gaze.

“…so, you see, he said he would hear nothing from me,” concluded Wei Wuxian, “and I decided he would hear _everything_ from me.”

Lan Wangji sighed. “I know.”

“It’s just – wait, what?”

“I said: I know. That is _why_ I’m home so soon. Your antics were overheard by Merchant Ren Cheng. He found xiongzhang and I at an inn in Yunmeng and could not contain his surprise. He thought I was here with you already, given what he heard.”

“Oh.” Wei Wuxian blushed and bit his lower lip. Then, in a sudden panic, he took hold of his husband’s shoulders and gripped tight. “Lan Zhan! Lan Zhan, I promise you: I’ve been _alone_ this entire time! I—“

He stopped talking as Lan Wangji covered his mouth in a kiss.

Wei Wuxian couldn’t help a greedy, whimpering moan. The kiss his Lan Zhan gave him was hot and luscious and so sultry. He relaxed his grip on Lan Zhan’s shoulders; slid his arms up to twine around Lan Zhan’s neck and happily kissed back.

When the kiss ended, Lan Wangji pressed his forehead to Wei Wuxian’s; the forehead ribbon connecting them.

“I know,” he murmured. “I know you were alone. I do not doubt Wei Ying. I have faith in you – always.”

Wei Wuxian gasped softly. His eyes flooded with tears and a sob spilled from his throat.

“Lan _Zhan_ ,” he groaned. “You can’t just _say things_ like that without warning! Your husband is so fragile—“

“Incorrect,” Lan Wangji interrupted. He shifted to kiss Wei Ying’s forehead, and then his cheek, and then his jaw. “Wei Ying is the strongest I know. And Wei Ying is _mine_ – this I know, too.”

Wei Wuxian gasped again and pulled his Lan Zhan into another hot, greedy kiss.

Lan Wangji growled into the kiss; pressed down against his husband, shoving Wei Ying deeper into the bed. He rocked against the other man, rolled his hips… and realized that his lover wasn’t hard.

“Wei Ying…?”

Wei Wuxian winced. “I… it’s the alcohol. You know what too much does to me, Lan Zhan. It’s starting to wear off, but…”

Lan Wangji frowned. They had discovered early on that if Wei Ying got drunk enough, then his body refused to respond to sexual stimuli. No matter what he was _feeling_ , his body would fail to arouse.

“Why?” he prompted, curious.

Wei Wuxian grimaced. “I miscalculated. That first night, I put on the performance… and drove _myself_ mad with longing for you.”

He twined his fingers throughout Lan Wangji’s hair; slipped his fingers beneath robe collars to stroke his fingertips along the back of his Lan Zhan’s neck.

“I was so hard for you,” Wei Wuxian whispered mournfully. “I _needed_ you so much, Lan Zhan.”

Lan Wangji shivered over his husband. He knelt up and began removing the rest of his clothing as he stared down at his Wei Ying.

“Did you touch yourself?” he asked.

“I… started to, but then I just felt _bad_ about it since you weren’t there to watch as you like to do,” Wei Wuxian confessed. He helped Lan Wangji remove his white robes, his gaze greedily taking in the sight of toned skin and muscle as it was bared. “And then, I felt _dirty_. I didn’t want to _actually_ , _really_ come for that man.”

“Only me,” Lan Wangji declared. Naked, now, he helped peel Wei Wuxian out of his sleep clothes. “Wei Ying comes _only_ for me.”

“Only Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian whispered. “So I decided to drink to keep myself from getting hard. Speaking of which: I like where this is heading – I do – but I’m _still_ drunk enough to make it a problem.”

Lan Wangji smirked down at his lover. “I will help you.”

Wei Wuxian blinked, and then _grinned_. They had discovered that a skillful application of spiritual energy to the weak golden core residing in Wei Wuxian’s new body would flush him clear of any intoxications or poisons.

“By all means,” he purred, and star-fished out on the bed. “Have your way with me, my Lan Zhan.”

“I will,” Lan Wangji promised, and set to work on flooding Wei Ying’s golden core with energy.

In the span of a few minutes, Wei Wuxian shuddered as he felt his body energize. He groaned as his body went _hot_ , and then lovely warm. He watched Lan Zhan above him, the perfectly serious expression as he intently transferred energy, and fell in love with his husband yet again.

“My Lan Zhan,” he murmured, and those gold eyes flicked up to meet his gaze. “My love, my Lan Er-gege, my _heart_. Heavens, but I’d be nothing without you.”

“It is I who is nothing without you,” Lan Wangji declared. He released the energy transfer and lowered himself atop his husband again. “I should know. I spent too many years knowing myself to be a mere shell without you.”

Wei Wuxian made a hurt sound and reached up to pull Lan Zhan tight against him.

“I’m here now,” he said. “You’re here. _We_ are here – together, and whole, and perfect.”

“Perfect, yes – Wei Ying is perfect—“

Wei Wuxian groaned and hauled Lan Zhan into a kiss.

The two men twined around each other in a tight, desperate embrace as they kissed: hot, hungry, greedy. They rocked together, exulting in the sensation of warm, smooth skin pressing, rubbing, sliding.

When Lan Wangji kissed and bit his way down Wei Wuxian’s neck, Wei Wuxian threw his head back on a wild gasp.

“Yes! Oh, _yesssss_ ,” he moaned. “Missed this, missed you—“

A thought suddenly occurred to him. His eyes, which had closed, flew open and he glanced to the various places in the Jingshi where the silencing talismans usually hung.

“Oh, Lan Zhan,” he hissed, and grabbed hold of his lover’s hair and tugged urgently. “The talismans! They’re still down. Everyone will hear!”

Lan Wangji lifted up so he could meet Wei Wuxian’s gaze. He _smirked_.

“Not _everyone_ ,” he countered; “only the _necessary_ one.”

Wei Wuxian blinked.

“ _We_ will torment him,” Lan Wangji purred. “My husband has been maligned – and now, I am here to help him get revenge.”

He bent to kiss and lick his way up Wei Wuxian’s neck to one of his ears. Into that, he whispered:

“Wei Ying will make his lovely noises – and this time, he will come. As always: Wei Ying will come for _me_.”

Wei Wuxian cried out, wordless, and sought more luscious kisses from his husband. Between his legs, his cock was so hard he hurt and his legs were trembling as he twined them around his Lan Zhan.

Lan Wangji growled, soft and low in his throat as he set about pleasuring his husband. He stroked his hands along smooth skin, aware of the minute scars here and there. His lips found Wei Ying’s throat; his tongue traced the thin scar that ran a horizontal line across from ear to ear – the lingering reminder of how close Jin Guangyao had come to stealing Wei Ying away from him again. He had to do this, every time; couldn’t proceed until he had.

With the trace done, he worked his way down Wei Ying’s body until he reached his husband’s delightfully sensitive nipples. He began to suck one of them, teasing with his tongue and teeth, while his fingers pinched and pulled the other one.

Wei Wuxian moaned as Lan Zhan teased his incredibly sensitive nipples. Discovering that sensitivity had been one of Lan Zhan’s best days ever. For Wei Wuxian, it was a blessing and a curse. Every time his Lan Zhan played with his nipples, it was both delight and torment, sending him into a spiral of aching bliss that rendered him incapable of anything. He could only cling and submit, letting Lan Zhan do what he wanted.

“Heavens, yes,” he gasped, his hips flicking with every stroke of his husband’s tongue. “Feels so good!”

Lan Wangji’s hands cupped Wei Wuxian’s ass, holding Wei Ying against him as he rolled his hips lewdly between the other man’s legs. He sucked and licked Wei Ying’s nipples, kissing his way back and forth between them.

“Always want to do this,” he murmured, his voice a rough purr against Wei Wuxian’s breastbone. “Every time you become aroused, these stiffen up, begging for my mouth.”

Wei Wuxian groaned, shuddering. “It’s like… like I can… feel… your tongue against my cock… with every lick!”

Suddenly, Lan Wangji’s mouth watered for the taste of Wei Ying down there. Lan Wangji pulled away from his husband’s chest to shift further down the bed. He shrugged Wei Ying’s legs up over his shoulders and set his mouth to the base of Wei Ying’s cock. He sucked, rolled his tongue, and then slid upward along the shaft. He capped the tip with his mouth and pressed down, taking Wei Ying inside; sucking and licking.

Wei Wuxian let loose a drawn out, wailing moan of pleasure. His legs curled down against Lan Zhan’s shoulders, his calves pressed tight to Lan Zhan’s ribs. He had to close his eyes and pant wildly against the surge of arousal; against the urge to spend himself right then and there.

_“Ahhhhhhhhh, **gods!** ”_ he shrieked, and his hands flashed down to crash onto Lan Zhan’s head. His fingers curled, gathering silky long strands of hair, and he yanked even as he worked his hips, fucking up into Lan Zhan’s mouth. _“Yes! Yes! Like that! Suck me, Lan Zhan! Suck me! Harder! Oh, fuck, **please** , Lan Er-gege!”_

Lan Wangji growled his approval and then pressed down further, taking Wei Ying into his throat, and swallowed.

Wei Wuxian’s back arched violently as he screamed his pleasure.

He writhed, dragging in desperate gulps of air, and when Lan Wangji pulled back – Wei Wuxian couldn’t help the immediate attempt to push deeper again. Lan Wangji shoved his hips back down; pulled his mouth entirely off of Wei Ying’s cock and pinned his lover’s hips to the bed so he could bend down and bite one sharp hipbone.

Wei Wuxian _whimpered_. “You beast! Cruel, cruel beast; cruel husband to torment me so! Lan Zhan, my good Er-gege, beloved one—“

Lan Wangji made an amused sound and then shifted them both again. Scooting down onto his belly, he hooked Wei Ying’s legs over his shoulders once more. He got his hands braced under Wei Ying’s ass and lifted, holding him steady as he licked and sucked and swirled over the hole between his cheeks. Lan Wangji’s tongue forced its way into Wei Wuxian with wriggling jabs; pulled out to licklicklick _lick_ all over, ‘round and ‘round. He paused to suck on two of his own fingers, wetting them thoroughly, and then turned his head to bite the inside of one pale thigh as he pushed his fingers carefully into Wei Ying. 

Wei Wuxian groaned gutturally, feeling as if he was dying but in the _best_ possible way. He was gasping, sweating; delirious with pleasure. That they were having sex without talismans – a thing they’d promised to never do again – was no longer in his awareness. Lan Zhan was _home_. He was _here_ and he _wanted_ his Wei Ying; intended to fuck him until Wei Wuxian came screaming his name and that was just the best thing _ever_.

Wei Wuxian had enough presence of mind to scrabble for the little jar of oil they kept in a specially made pocket of their bed. He opened the jar and gasped Lan Zhan’s name. His husband moved aside and Wei Wuxian drizzled oil down between his legs, all over the fingers now barely inside him – and then, they were _in_ again, pushing deep, perfectly slick now, and Wei Wuxian dropped the little jar as he lifted up to meet every push of Lan Zhan’s fingers inside him even as that glorious, beautiful mouth sucked his dick again.

_“Yes yes yes yes gods yes oh **fuck** , Lan Zhan! Suck harder! Suck **more!** Go deeper oh my fucking stars please **please** I can’t – I can’t – I’m going to – I’m – **LAN ZHAN** —“_

Wei Wuxian gave a wordless shriek as he bucked sharply, his hips writhing wildly as he came on Lan Wangji’s fingers and down his throat.

Lan Wangji groaned and growled his pleasure as he swallowed Wei Ying’s orgasm. It took everything he had to not crush Wei Ying into the bed and shove himself into his husband. It was what he wanted, but he couldn’t do that. He was feeling _too_ wild, _too_ greedy, in a way that could potentially damage and hurt Wei Ying. If he did that, he might frighten his husband away from him, and at that point he’d have no choice but to fucking well fall on his sword.

So, he gentled Wei Ying through his climax; licked and kissed his husband’s softening cock tenderly as he held his fingers still. As Wei Ying sprawled back, gasping, Lan Wangji nuzzled his groin with the tip of his nose, taking in and enjoying the scent of his lover’s arousal. Then, as Wei Ying quieted, he turned his head and began biting and licking the skin of his right inner thigh.

Wei Wuxian jerked, going tense for a moment and then relaxing with a sigh.

“Lan Zhan?” His voice was guttural with pleasure; husky. “Lan Zhan, you can—that was—oh! _Oh!_ ”

Lan Wangji smiled as he took the tip of Wei Ying’s cock into his mouth. His husband was beginning to rouse again and so he helped Wei Ying along; held the tip in his mouth while he used this tip of his tongue in a barely-there caress ‘round and ‘round the soft head. Wei Ying quivered and clenched around his fingers, his thighs jerking closed against Lan Wangji’s head for a moment before falling open again. Lan Wangji felt wetness against his tongue and followed it to the slit; probed with his tongue and lapped up the fresh flood that resulted.

“You fucking _marvelous_ wonder of a man,” Wei Wuxian breathed, and closed his eyes.

Lan Wangji hummed and Wei Ying trembled. Lan Wangji hummed again, licked, sucked, and then released Wei Ying from his mouth. He gently kissed the tip of his husband’s cock, and then shifted up onto his knees so he could watch his fingers slide in and out as he began finger-fucking Wei Ying’s ass again. 

“When I come, I will do it inside you,” Lan Wangji murmured. His long fingers twisted in and out of Wei Wuxian’s slick sheath and he watched his husband twitch and flinch; listened to him pant with lust. “When I come: I want it to be because I felt you come on my cock. I want to be inside you. I want to fuck you, Wei Ying. I want to fill you with my cock and then I want to come inside you.”

Wei Wuxian gasped sharply and clutched around him. Staring up at the ceiling above him, wide-eyed with lust and shock, Wei Wuxian muttered, “Lan _Zhan!_ So perfectly shameless! Who knew you liked to talk dirty?”

“Only one who knows that matters is you,” Lan Wangji replied, and pulled his fingers free to curl those slick digits around his own erection and begin stroking.

Wei Wuxian whimpered and braced himself on his elbows so he could watch that pretty display.

And then, he decided to do a little dirty talking of his own.

“I want to smear my face with you,” he murmured, his eyes half-closed as he mentally fantasized even while he spoke. “I want to be on my knees in front of you, Lan Zhan; submissive to you as you fuck my mouth with your hard cock.”

Lan Wangji’s groan was a delight to his ears. 

“I want to taste your salty skin,” Wei Wuxian continued. “I want to feel your cock hot and heavy on my tongue, Lan Er-gege. I want to drag my nails along your hips and down your thighs as I suck you to get your flavor. I want to swipe my face all over you, feeling your cock slide against me, leaving your perfect scent everywhere. I want to lick your balls and suck them, ever so gently, and then – _then_ – I want to open my mouth, open my _throat_ , and kneel there, _taking_ it, taking whatever you choose to give as you fuck my mouth until you come… or not. Maybe you want to fuck my mouth and then finish off in my ass and I’ll do that; do whatever you want, my Lan Zhan, submitting to you.”

Lan Wangji abruptly lunged over him. Wei Wuxian watched him and shuddered, thrilled, at how _insane_ his husband appeared; so wild with need. His skin was flushed and darkened, his eyes burning gold, and his lips were shiny and swollen, open as he panted for air. His hair hung over his damp face and his expression made him look like he was in a killing rage. 

If Wei Wuxian hadn’t known Lan Zhan was in the grip of a deep and powerful lust, he’d have been terrified that he was about to die.

Lan Wangji’s motions were hard, jerky things as he quickly shoved his way between Wei Wuxian’s still spread legs. Pinning his husband down with one hand on Wei Ying’s shoulder, Lan Zhan held himself steady and began pushing in; his gaze never leaving Wei Ying’s.

Wei Wuxian shuddered and tensed at the stunning pressure of an enormous dick pushing inside him.

It was his favorite sensation in the whole wide world.

“Heavens,” he gasped, his back arching, “it’s… oh… gods, I missed you!”

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji grit out, pushing steadily inward, “missed you!”

“Yes,” Wei Wuxian groaned, lifting his hips to take his husband in. _“Oh, Heavens, yes! Perfect! Oh, perfect! Your hard cock is **so perfect!** I want it! Oh, I want this hard cock deep inside me, fucking me! I want you to make me come! I want you to come inside me!”_

Yet again: his voice rose in sound and power, letting the world know precisely how happy he was.

Lan Wangji snarled and braced himself over his husband as his hips snapped forward, pushing _in_ with one strong thrust.

Wei Wuxian _moaned_ as he weltered around Lan Zhan, his body relaxing and flowering open to allow his husband’s passage into him.

Lan Wangji threw back his head on a shuddering gasp, grateful for Wei Ying’s acceptance; pleased by his submission. He’d been prepared to recklessly shove his way into his lover, but this was _so_ much better – the undeniable proof of Wei Ying’s pleasure and trust in him.

They remained that way for several moments: Wei Wuxian splayed out against the bed, his legs clamped to Lan Wangji’s hips while Lan Zhan knelt close with his groin pressed to Wei Ying’s as tight as could be.

Then, his hands shifted to slide underneath Wei Ying, cupping his bottom and lifting him a little higher. He spread his knees for better balance, braced himself, and began thrusting.

Wei Wuxian threw his head back on a howling cry of lustful delight. The angle was perfect and every lunge of Lan Zhan’s hips stroked him deep into Wei Wuxian’s body. He moved inside Wei Ying easily; big enough that Wei Wuxian could feel him perfectly, but not so big that the fit was too tight.

As always: Lan Zhan was _perfect_ inside him.

“Made,” he gasped, clawing his fingers into Lan Wangji’s strong arms, “made for each other!”

Lan Wangji, now past his admittedly limited ability to be verbal, snarled wordlessly as he worked his hips between Wei Ying’s thighs. He fucked hard and fast, plunging his hard cock in and out of his husband’s hot, perfect ass in lewd thrusts of his hips. Wei Ying was hot and slick, perfect, and he _needed_ to come inside his beloved husband so much his balls hurt. He was struggling to remember why he couldn’t, why he had to wait—

“Oh, gods,” he heard Wei Ying whimper as his hips began to flick and roll, faster and faster, in the grip of his hands. _“Oh, gods… oh, Heavens, Lan Zhan…! Lan Zhan, my love, my gracious beauty! Lan Er-gongzi, Lan Wangji, Hanguang-Jun, my love, my only! Harder! Faster! Please, gods, Lan Zhan, I beg you – **fuck me!** Fuck your Wei Ying! Take me! Destroy me!”_

Lan Wangji felt the rise of Wei Ying’s urgency, felt him moving faster beneath him, and began to fuck harder and faster inside of the other man.

_“Ohgodsohgodsohgods—Lan Zhan! **Lan Zhan!** ”_

Wei Wuxian’s orgasmic scream shattered across his skin and Lan Wangji shouted in response. He couldn’t think, couldn’t _breathe_ , because gods above and gods below but he’d _never_ been squeezed so tight before. He shuddered and thrust and _let go_ , coming with a groan of agonized relief as the pleasure swamped through him.

Wei Wuxian, curled tight around Lan Wangji, shuddered and shook as he struggled to survive the absolute pleasure sweeping through him. 

This… this was the _best ever_. 

As he sprawled back on their bed – with Lan Wangji heaving for breath against him while his cock throbbed within the grip of Wei Wuxian’s clenching, rippling muscles – Wei Wuxian had the feeling that the only reason he’d ever again allow Lan Zhan to leave for an extended length of time would be to enjoy this feeling again.

“That was good,” Lan Wangji gasped, working his hips in slow rhythm.

“That was… so far… beyond good,” Wei Wuxian panted, finally able to speak again, “that I don’t… have… the words… for it.” 

He groaned as his hips jolted up, spilling the last little bit of his orgasm onto his belly, his own cock heavy and quiescent as it lay limp on him.

Wei Wuxian then sighed contentedly as he relaxed onto the bed, his eyes closed, his mind and body humming with pleasure. He was desperately tired and wrung-out, sore in so many places, but he felt _so good_ in the aftermath of the best orgasm of his life that he couldn’t be too awfully bothered.

Lan Wangji sighed as he softened beyond use. Carefully, he pulled out; paused to examine his husband for injury, found none, and settled down beside the other man. He pulled Wei Ying into his arms and the two of them cuddled in a humid, sated tangle of limbs.

“Amazing,” rasped Wei Wuxian. “There might actually be an upside to you going on missions without me if _this_ is the result when we reunite.”

“Mn,” Lan Wangji hummed in agreement.

For some reason, that typical response cracked Wei Wuxian up and he began laughing, utterly delighted.

When he quieted down, he snuggled closer to his husband and tucked his face against Lan Wangji’s neck.

“I missed you,” he said; quiet, sincere. “I missed you so dearly. I felt diminished without you here.”

“Wei Ying is never less,” Lan Wangji replied instantly, “but I understand what you mean. I felt incomplete without my Wei Ying beside me.”

Wei Wuxian made a sad sound and hugged his husband tighter.

“I would not feel this way if you were not everything to me.”

Wei Wuxian gasped. He pulled back to look at his Lan Zhan; eyes wide with surprise as he met his lover’s somber, loving gaze.

Lan Wangji lifted a hand; touched his fingertips to Wei Wuxian’s temple and stroked his fingers away through damp hair. He watched Wei Ying’s eyes go heavy-lidded with pleasure as they always did when he was petted.

“He declared you a burden and a disgrace,” Lan Wangji murmured, and frowned when Wei Ying’s eyes closed on a pained grimace. “He declared you to be my ruin; to be my _catamite_ , fit only to serve me sexually. Such is not true. I would not feel dismantled from the soul outward from loneliness if Wei Ying were not everything I could ever want or need.”

He slid his fingertips along Wei Wuxian’s jaw; tipped his chin up slightly and watched his husband’s eyes open and look at him. He hated to see the insecurity, the _doubt_ , of his worth to the world in general and to Lan Wangji in particular.

“You are the helpmate I always hoped I would have,” Lan Wangji whispered. “You bring laughter and silliness and cleverness into my life; into our home. You are stunningly gifted and terrifyingly intelligent. You are sarcastic, rude, playful, and brilliant. You are _beautiful_ , Wei Ying, in every way that matters. The only time you were ever a burden to me was when you were gone for all those years – and even then, I carried close the pain of your loss because you were _worth_ feeling pain for. My heart was broken, but that was better than never having loved you. Wei Ying, you are _mine_ and I may only be grateful – never disgraced, never burdened.”

His uncharacteristic long speech ended and Lan Wangji waited, hoping his love took solace from his words.

Wei Wuxian began crying.

“Lan Zhan,” he croaked through his tears, “you have destroyed me!”

He flung his arms around his husband and hugged tight, shaking as he cried.

Lan Wangji pulled Wei Ying close and cuddled his husband protectively; held Wei Ying close and petted him, kissed him, while sheltering him.

He was going to _obliterate_ Xing Yang for his verbal crimes against Wei Ying.

Eventually, Wei Wuxian’s crying subsided. He untangled himself from Lan Wangji and got up from the bed, declaring himself to be a “hideous mess, don’t look at me, Lan Zhan!” as he went to collect a wet cloth to clean his face with.

Lan Wangji, watching the lithe body move with Wei Ying’s natural grace, said, “Too pretty to not look at.”

Wei Wuxian huffed a laugh and muttered, “That would be _you_ , my beautiful one. Someday, I’m going to demand that you pose for me nude just so I may paint you again; a portrait just for us, so you may see yourself as _I_ see you.”

Lan Wangji lowered his gaze, feeling his ears burn. “I regret that my drawing skills are not adequate. I wish to do the same for you.”

“I know how you see me.” Wei Wuxian’s voice was warm with love as he returned to the bed. He smiled down at his husband, utterly adoring. “You show me in so many ways – and, just now, you’ve told me. I’ve very little faith in most anything, including me, but whatever faith I have is all for you. If Lan Zhan says it: then it must be so.”

The pure love that Lan Zhan looked at him with nearly toppled him off his feet.

Lan Wangji lifted a hand in offering to his husband. “Come back to bed; return to my arms. We are not done wreaking vengeance.”

Wei Wuxian threw back his head on a brilliant laugh – and then, he pounced.

Several minutes later, wildly delighted cries of delight begging Lan Er-gege simultaneously for dick and for mercy filled the air.

*~*~*~*

The next morning, three exhausted men were packing their qiankun bags.

Lan Qiren had come to them before the evening bells; had given a final ruling and suggested that with their business concluded on the topic of the night-hunting grounds, it was time for the XingLuo contingent to depart – once morning light had returned, of course.

The three men had tried to argue that they were perfectly alright with attempting a night flight home, but Lan Qiren had insisted on their staying one last evening.

As they had feared, their sleep had been interrupted several times with Wei Wuxian’s shameless howling. For a while, the noises had ceased for longer than ever before, and they’d foolishly hoped their torment was at an end.

It wasn’t to be as the noises had started up again, more vigorously than before. 

This time, they’d even heard a different voice cry out with Wei Wuxian! Several times!

But their torment was finally at an end. Morning had come and they would be escaping at long last.

A knock sounded at the door and Xing Yang clenched his teeth. Wei Wuxian had taken to the habit of knocking early on their door after every evening; ostensibly to ensure they’d slept well. Xing Yang _knew_ it was a taunting dig, but his one attempt to complaint o Lan Qiren about the abuse he was enduring had resulted in a lecture on the inappropriateness of sticking his nose into the business of a young, healthy, married couple in love.

Now, given that he was leaving, Xing Yang felt it was his right to haul off and tell Wei Wuxian exactly how horrible he was.

Furious strides carried him over to the doors. He yanked them apart, a diatribe already rising on his lips—

The words fell apart in his throat as a series of squeaks when he saw Wei Wuxian standing there with a glorious, elegant man in white beside him.

Xing Yang felt his mouth moving, though no words came forth. He felt the skin of his face go hot and then cold as he worked through the horrified embarrassment he was feeling.

Finally, he managed to get himself under control. He drew himself up, brought his arms forward in perfect salute, and bowed.

“Hanguang-Jun,” he greeted. “How… lovely… to finally meet you face-to-face on my final morning here.”

He straightened and found the other man staring at him. There was no outward expression on Lan Wangji’s face, but Xing Yang had the sensation anyway that he was being measured for funeral robes and a coffin.

“Clan Leader Xing,” said Lan Wangji, and his voice was as cold as his gaze, “I presume your stay at Cloud Recesses was a pleasant one.”

Xing Yang swallowed hard. He flicked his gaze to Wei Wuxian. The cultivator had a pleasant enough smile on his face, but the sheer glee in his gaze was almost demonic in its intensity.

_He’s **laughing** at me!_ Xing Yang thought, enraged.

He turned his gaze back to Lan Wangji and immediately thought better about voicing any sort of complaint.

“It was… acceptable,” Xing Yang forced himself to say.

“That is good,” declared Lan Wangji. “Of course, had you any problems, you could have approached my husband – Wei Wuxian. As I have been too busy to attend to duties here, he has stood in my stead at my request. There is none other I trust more than Wei Wuxian. I fear I rely on him too heavily at times.”

Xing Yang blinked, stupefied.

“Lan Zhan may call upon me at any time, for any reason,” said Wei Wuxian. His voice was raspy, but he looked at Lan Wangji with pride and affection. “It is my honor to stand beside him.”

“The honor is mine,” Lan Wangji murmured, gazing back at his husband, his ears faintly pink.

Xing Yang flinched at the intensity of the love in Lan Wangji’s gaze – matched perfectly by Wei Wuxian.

_Oh, no,_ he thought.

He made a distressed noise as he realized how badly he’d erred in criticizing Wei Wuxian. He knew, then and there, that he would forever be an enemy to Lan Wangji.

The cold fury in the golden eyes that turned his way proved him right.

“I… I…”

He couldn’t manage to form a coherent sentence in his upset.

“Well!” said Wei Wuxian, twining an arm with Lan Wangji’s. “You _are_ busy packing and must be eager to return home. Lan Zhan, too, must resume his mission. As I am quite greedy for my beloved husband’s attention, I will not be sharing him with you this morning. Safe travels, Clan Leader Xing, and if you ever require our help again – don’t hesitate to come back.”

“I believe… that might be a while,” Xing Yang said through dry lips.

Lan Wangji nodded once and Xing Yang understood that as “might be a while” had better be “definitely will be a while.”

He bowed to the two cultivators again. Hanguang-Jun deigned to bow his head briefly while Wei Wuxian gave a bow in return.

Then, the husbands turned in lovely synchrony and walked away, arm-in-arm.

Xing Yang closed the doors, turned around, and leaned back against them while blowing out a breath. Xing Zexian and Xing Liuxian stared back at him, pale and wide-eyed.

“If anything else happens that requires the Chief Cultivator,” said Xing Yang, “ _someone else_ can go! I’ve heard enough to last a lifetime!”

(End)


End file.
